


A Sight to See

by Kats0wo



Series: Blind tommy au [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Dream Smp, Gen, Hacking, Mild Gore, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Potions, sbi, smpearth - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:46:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28815846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kats0wo/pseuds/Kats0wo
Summary: Tommy smiles as he hugs his brothers. It's nice to see 'em again.Now if only his eyes stopped burning.(sequel to Scared and Blind although you don't need to have read but you should cuz clout.)
Relationships: Technoblade & Dream, TommyInnit & Technoblade, Tommyinnit & Tubbo, Tommyinnit & Wilbursoot, Tubbo & Dream
Series: Blind tommy au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112702
Comments: 26
Kudos: 164





	1. Alacrity

**Author's Note:**

> "He who sups with the devil should have a long spoon."
> 
> Sup fam squad it's been a while (sorry!)
> 
> here's a sequel to Scared and Blind. Mostly gonna be in Dream smp ngl.  
> I can't promise an update schedule buuut its gonna be a long one boys. Mostly season 1.

Life progresses like it always has and always will for Tommy. 

Badly. 

(Maybe it was a curse.)

The houses in Business Bay still stood strong (luckily) and his people were happy. He’d become a frequent visitor to the villages nearby and the teen occasionally spent weeks on end there. Helping mothers out with menial chores, assisting fathers with reparations and playing with the children, all of this to take his mind off the looming reality plaguing his resting thoughts.

Ignoring anything unpleasant was and always has been his first reaction, and indulging in his usual escapism habits unsurprisingly didn't work this time either. The blond wasn’t shocked. The shadows were and always will be in the corner of his mind, waiting to strike him when at his weakest. Thus, he stopped fighting it. The solitude became his only friend- and it left him feeling _depressed._

He knew he was constantly alone. _They_ said it was for his safety- that this was the best thing for him- but they were _wrong._

Sure, his blindness was a major issue- but he was human _damn it_. He knew how to adapt to these things and honestly, leaving him to **_rot_** in SMP Earth wasn’t pogchamp at all. Tommy knew that _they_ had better, grandeur things to do in other worlds and he wasn’t jealous that _they_ could escape the hell he lived everyday (he wasn’t). The only thing he held for them was pity- they willingly came back to this decrepit world that had lost their interest months ago just because they felt _bad_ for a random blind teen. They came back because they didn’t want to leave him _~~sadhelplessafraid~~_ alone. Didn’t fucking work.

Hell, he hasn’t spoken to anyone during all the weeks he was plotting.

What was he planning exactly? Well, recently he had come across a message (in audio format thankfully) that could grant him a cure to his problem. The problem being; he’s become weak and defenseless, and that’s why he’s being locked in this safe world. If he managed to become strong, his family would allow him outside this ‘safe haven’.

His brothers were like broken music discs, constantly repeating the same _lies_ . ‘This is for your own good, Tommy.’ Wilbur would state, his voice firm. ‘We just worry for you.’ Technoblade confides in him, sounding smaller than Tommy had ever heard him before. Their _deception_ was hurtful. Was he too weak- that’s why they never let him leave? Did they believe him incompetent and a danger to himself? Then why did _they leave him alone?_

In the beginning, he had convinced himself that his new handicap was an extra challenge to adapt to, but it was really only an obstacle that he’d preferred over an alternative. However, the different ways people interacted with him left him feeling numb and resentful. They’d baby him the moment they found out about his ‘secret’ and it was hard on his sanity. He hated his blindness with a passion and hated to be characterized by it. In came the miracle that would fix it all; in the form of a sketchy audio file.

It was heavily coded with warning signs- but he was desperate enough for anything at this point. All the ‘client’ (that’s what they preferred to be referred to as) demanded from him was to summon it at a certain time at a certain place- and then after a few steps, he’d be fixed.

That time was today.

Tommy woke up to his alarm sometime afternoon to the sound of a spider crawling above his roof. Twisting his back with a satisfying pop, he felt gleeful for the first time in months. Finally, something was going to go his way. He had been preparing for this day for so long now. He re-listened to the instructions more times than is healthy, practiced the appropriate movements until it was ingrained in his muscle memory and then some, he’d even been careful to not oversleep the set time by placing 3 more alarms then he usually did, as the client had been very precise with its rules.

To be honest, he didn’t feel very safe trusting a random video’s message he found in some ruined temple in a random unexplored forest. Of course, he’d first taken the time to consider the positives and the negatives that could come from this and compiled them into a fairly short mental list... The positive: ‘No more fucking blindness’ and the negative: ‘I might get killed’. Considering the fact that respawning was a thing in this world, this was literally the best decision he could’ve taken.

Checking the time with his audible communicator, he realized he had almost 5 minutes to spend before his...viewing aide arrived. He could feel his heart loud in his ears, beating in his chest like the wings of a furious bee. He couldn’t wait to see again.

Holy fuck, today was the day. No more darkness- he’ll get to see _his brothers’ faces_ again! Tommy had hyped himself up for weeks, he couldn’t mess this up, this was his one shot- and yet the nerves were hitting him hard when it counted. Stay calm. The only worse thing that could happen would be-

**[Technoblade joined the game.]**

  
  
  


FUCK.

He didn’t understand the sudden panic climbing up his throat at the loud notification, why he felt like he was going to get caught in a crime- he shouldn’t be ashamed of dealing with a hack client right? Why was he shaking?

**[Technoblade: Where are you.]**

Tommy winces as the electronically loud question rang through his empty bedroom. He’s not doing anything wrong, it doesn’t matter if Techno’s there or here with him. Typing on his braille phone, he gave the pig his coords. _Funny_ how the man hadn’t bothered to specify who he was talking to.

Minutes passed in agonizing silence, his heartbeat louder than TNT explosions in his head, his hands sweating of their own accord. The ball in his throat felt heavy. Dimly, he realized he could’ve faked his coords so that Technoblade wouldn’t interrupt the operation, yet he knew in the end the man would’ve found him. The man would go to hell and back for him, but right now he really wished that weren't the case. Sure, he missed Techno after months of not talking to him, yet _now was the worst possible time he could’ve chosen to come back._

His phone dinged, another alarm he had set yesterday, and informed him the client is coming now. Tommy let out a shaky sigh. He could finish before Techno even arrived. He could surprise his brother with his eyesight back. Exhaling slowly, he carefully stepped into the ritualistic circle he had painstakingly prepared earlier. Here we go.

In hindsight, Tommy probably shouldn't have assumed the way it was going to go. A lifetime of hearing tales of hack clients led him to believe that a rift in the universe would open in front of him, releasing the worst horrors trapped in the /kill world. If he was feeling poetic, he might have even indulged himself with fantasies of the sweetest sound he ever heard, driving him crazy with want. He did not, however, anticipate the sudden onslaught of sticky goo latching itself to his body.

Immediately, he could feel a sludgy substance coating his open hands. The audio informed him he needed to insert the thing into his eyes. Originally he’d felt disgusted and horrified, yet he realised this was the price to pay for vision. Even multiple admins hadn’t been capable of helping, so this alien-ish being would need to be out of the ordinary. He lifted it up, took a deep breath… and it _shoved itself into his eyes._

His high-pitched screams of agony must’ve alerted Techno of his exact location, even if the pig arrived too late to do anything.

Stumbling back while holding his aching eyes, he probably would’ve been crying right now if his tear ducts weren’t being blocked by the _ _creature_ thing_. He fell over, the screams ripping through him, as strident as ever. It’s almost funny how much louder he got during his lonely adventures here. It’s as though his mouth made up for the lack of noise- and therefore sensations- by filling it up itself.

Tommy can’t say for sure how long he spent in pure agony before the flaming pain finally diminished. When he comes back to himself, the pain is still present, although thankfully lesser, he could feel someone’s calloused hands harshly shaking him. Before he can even start comprehending that, a more important thought is brought forward... His hands. They’re raw and aching, as if he’s held them in a fire for too long. More importantly, they’re substance free. The ~~creaturething~~ goo was gone. 

He gently lifted his raw hands and gently massaged his warm, throbbing eyes. Nothing unusual to the touch. This was time for him to notice if it worked or not. He was about to lift his heavy eyelids, yet something stopped him. What if it didn’t work? What if he had hoped too hard for a miracle cure that wouldn’t do anything? What if he were truly doomed to be babied forever? Gulping, he resolved he’d do something about it. Just, not now...It was too soon.

His brother’s voice pierced through the silence that fell between them. “Tommy, what did you do now?” The words were dripping with worry, yet the man always had problems with phrasing, often sounding colder than he meant to, such as now. 

The boy giggled deliriously, the adrenaline slowly leaving his brain, being replaced with childish glee of having his brother back. “So quick to accuse, Technoblade...”

Techno huffed out a relieved laugh. Obviously, what had happened wasn’t serious enough for him to not crack jokes, huh ‘blade? “Well... Do you need help getting up, nerd?” Instead of replying verbally, he nodded lightly in the velvet and fur coat. Feeling himself getting pulled up with a quick tug, he quickly stabilized himself by leaning against his brother. Trying to keep his mind off the past few minutes, he babbled whatever came to his head.

“Tell me about your adventures! It’s been so fucking boring here while you were gone. Still farming those potatoes?”

  
  


⋆

  
  
  


“-I split the cash with Dream and I left on good terms. Plus, I received an invite to his server as well as some for anyone who’d want to come with-”

They sat on the edge of a cliff, legs dangling, both ignoring the traumatic event from earlier, the younger’s head comfortably on the older’s shoulder. Tommy’s pretty sure the other guessed he wanted to ignore what happened, yet felt grateful the man didn’t breach the subject. He still hadn’t tried to see yet, although now seemed like a perfect opportunity, with Techno’s voice soothingly talking in the background

Taking a deep breath in, he slowly opened his eyes,

-and the first thing he noticed were the harsh blinding lights. Immediately regretting trying, he screwed them shut with a yelp. Techno rubbed his back in comfort, pausing in his storytelling. He steadied his breathing. He could do this. This was child’s play. 

  
  


**[WilburSoot joined the game.]**

And a heartbeat later.

**[/Tp WilburSoot to Tommyinnit]**

“-Oh hey Wil.”

“Hello to you too Technoblade!”

The familiar British accent behind him made him smile. He’s happy he got to live this moment with the people he loved. Taking another gulp of air, it felt much fresher than earlier, the smell of tilled dirt and fresh linen reaching his nose. Tommy turned around, eyes open to greet his brother, making eye contact for the first time in more than a year.

“It’s been a while!” For the first time since forever, he got to see his family’s shocked expression and the nostalgia hit him in the chest. 

“Oh my Gods.” Wilbur’s jaw dropped in a comedic fashion, much the same way he used to when Tommy would do something precarious. Tommy felt joy bubble up his chest at the sight

He missed this. He missed _them_. The only time he could see their faces was in rapidly fading memories, but now he realised that wow... They had changed so much during the last year.

Techno had a scar covering half his face, and his hair has been cut closer to his shoulders. Wilbur’s hair had grown and his face seemed...more mature? Tommy couldn’t believe what he’d missed and he longed for the priceless moments he’d also been robbed of.

He saw (and wow was that a weird thing back to get used to) Wilbur approaching and sitting down next to him on the cliff, slinging his arms around his shoulders, resting on top of Techno’s. The sunset reflected in his shiny eyes. Some drops rolled down his cheeks and the Brit smiled bigger. This was definitely something he could get used to again.

⋆

The sun is still setting, Techno and Wilbur are sitting on either side of him, smiling down at him and at the world, a peaceful silence resting between them. They have probably come to the conclusion that the potion effects had worn off randomly. Tommy was going to let them believe such a lie for their peace of mind. For once, they don’t feel the need to fill in the blanks, letting the youngest of them simply absorb the sight. Of course, Tommy knew it couldn’t last forever.

“I... I need to speak to you guys about something.”

This was the best moment he could have asked for, he had to grasp it, even if it hurt to break this fragile peace they made. The other two shifted, obviously listening intensely, questions evident on their faces.

“Now that I have my vision back can I-..I think I should leave.”

A hopeful smile adorned his lips, hoping it reassures his brothers. 

“Absolutely not.”

Pale blue eyes blew wide in shock. What? He had fixed the problem, he’s not considered helpless anymore! What the fuck?

Wilbur glared at Techno, cold lacing his gaze at the quick dismissal. After a second of considering it, he retorted “ Y’know… I don't see why we shouldn’t allow it now. Nothing’s holding him back anymore.” Wilbur pointed out the obvious, so often a voice of reason against Techno’s brutal retorts. Tommy felt a spark of hope build up in his chest, the first in a long time, but bit his tongue. Force of habit.

“Which server do you even want to go to anyway? Back to Hypixel, with Technoblade?”

Tommy pondered it. If Wilbur is asking this, it must mean he’s considering it as a serious possibility. The boy hadn’t planned anything past getting approval (not that he needed it of course) and chose one on the spot. He doubted he’d enjoy Hypixel again, the minigames got repetitive and the people there were borderline toxic (not to mention the fact that the admins could spot all hacks within a few seconds of someone using them). He could simply spend his time in Skyblock, but images of getting himself babied by his coop ran through his brain. “Actually, what about the Dream smp? It’s similar to this one, no?”

Technoblade snorted. “Have you ever seen the Dream team? They’re vicious.” The boy wasn’t oblivious to that fact, yet he still felt giddy at the idea of spending time on their server. He could make friends with them, _see_ and experience many new things. This is why he _needed_ to get out.

Wilbur shifted at his side, still half laying on each other, an idea clearly popping in his head. “Actually Tommy, I’ve got an idea.” The Brit pulled up his communicator and scrolled. Many past conversations zoomed past yet at one point, Wilbur turned away to hide the screen from Tom. They waited in silence until he finally found what he was searching for. “A-ha!” 

Holding his screen to their faces, Tommy and Techno saw the texts. The first part of the discussion was hidden underneath the man’s thumb, yet he could clearly read the last part.

**[Dream: thanks. btw you can come over to my server whenever, if you’d like ;)]**

**[WilburSoot: cool. I’ll think about it ;) ]**

Tommy was shaking with excitement. He knew what this meant. Slightly too blue eyes shot over to Techno’s deep red ones. The pig sighed in defeat. The younger turned back to his eldest brother.

  
  


“When we leaving, Wilbur?”


	2. Atonement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New world, new opportunities, right?
> 
> Tubbo is willing to give it all he's got. Atonement waits for no man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “We can be redeemed only to the extent to which we see ourselves."

Landing in this new server felt strange.

First of all, the portal had been different from any Tubbo had been through before. When he’d agreed to join this new world, he thought the journey would be like going to the nether (a place he was intimately familiar with). Instead, it had made him feel entirely too dizzy with colours swirling around him all at once, and the lack of gravity making his stomach bounce in his chest. He honestly isn’t sure if he vomited or not, but luckily he hadn’t found any traces on his shirt when he landed in the new spawn.

Speaking of, arriving in this lush field full of trees without his armor made him feel naked. Easy bait for more advanced players. He shivered, remembering all of the newcomers he’d seen be mutilated right after joining in his old world, for they couldn't defend themselves and made funny reactions for the psycho veterans. The most horrifying thing is... they did this all the time for  _ sport _ . ~~Don’t think about it, it’s fine.~~

  
  


Immediately sprinting away from spawn by reflex, he repeated the mantra that he’d formulated earlier before jumping, trying in vain to calm the nerves. ‘ _ They’re different, they're not like the others.’  _ After echoing it again and again, until it kept playing even without direct help, his pace slowing down to a jog, Tubbo felt prepared to start his journey here. As he marched towards his first tree, he felt his rusty communicator buzz in his pants. Flinching at the noise, he gingerly brought it out of his pocket.

**[ <Dream> Tubbo vc?]**

Gulping, the boy quickly agreed and felt his device begin to ring, an incoming call from the server admin. Steadying his breathing, he leaned against the floating tree as he accepted the request and greeted the man with a shy “hello.”

“Sup Tubbo! I would normally bring you over to the community house, but I'm a bit busy right now. Instead, I’m sending a child… you’ve been warned.” The boy wasn’t sure how to respond, luckily (or was it unluckily?) the call immediately cut off. Staring down at his good ol’ gadget, he pocketed it thoughtfully. Might as well finish what he started and not leave a half floating tree here, he thought before readying his fists again.

Minutes passed where Tubbo started gathering the essentials (it’s weird to not constantly have to watch your back, but Tubbo thinks he could get used to it with enough patience) until he heard steps near the bushes. Slowly getting up from where he was crouching next to his crafting table, sharpening a sword, he identified that noise as coming from ‘the child’ he’d been warned of.

The tall kid was probably his age, spiky blond hair glaring in the sunlight. His ruffled clothes were well cared for and he wore a smile on his face. “Hey big man! Just follow me, it's not that far.” The teen waited for Tubbo to catch up before marching away. His hands never strayed far from the tall tree trunks, probably to help with balance and to coordinate.

“...I’m known as Tubbo!” You shouldn't give your full name to strangers, but something close enough that you can answer without thinking. 

“I’m Tommy, but you can call me the Alpha Male.” He ended it with a… probably exaggerated wink, however it was hard to tell behind his tinted sunglasses. The smaller boy felt a laugh bubble up in him for the first time in a while, but pushed it down. A force of habit.

Oh, but now the other was expecting a reaction for his joke. Since Tubbo couldn’t imagine himself faking a giggle, he had to find an alternative... Uhh- cocky it is. “Yeah I’m not calling you that.” 

Tommy pouted, keeping up the bit. “Lame…”

And then he grabbed Tubbo’s hand before starting to walk.

And Tubbo-

Tubbo honestly didn’t quite know how to  _ react _ to it. 

He hasn’t had positive contact in what feels like forever, and for this stranger to just straight up grab his hand? That’s unthinkable in his old world. The larger vaguely burnt hand feels warm holding onto Tubbo’s shorter scarred one, the grip tight enough for it to pull him along, but light enough for him to free himself from if he so wishes. But he won’t. This feels nice. He’ll keep holding on for a moment, he decides.

They stayed in a comfortable silence for the rest of the walk, Tommy occasionally checking his device for the coordinates. For once, Tubbo felt peaceful in the presence of another. He liked this calming joy that washed over him when around this new guy. It was so alien to anything else he’d ever lived that… he really didn’t want to let this go.

“Could I…”

Tubbo started the question before he felt it clog his throat. Was this too early? Was he going to be rejected immediately? He wasn’t great at this socializing thing, and he really didn’t want to accidentally do the wrong thing and then scare the blond off from ever talking to him again. Yet as he worried internally about this, he changed his gaze upwards and made direct eye contact with Tommy’s glasses, a blond eyebrow raising above on one side. Although silent, he’s sure that the teen was trying to show support and that helped calm his anxieties.

“Could I call you friend instead?”

The resulting warm grin made it all worth it.

⋆

“I-I found these and… I thought you could have them.”

The discs glowed from the sunlight catching on their rims, illuminating them with a surreal glow. Their polished enthralling covers were hypnotic and the simplistic design betrayed their true value.

Back in his old server, whenever someone obtained a rare item of value, they’d use it to finalize an partnership.

_ A time long past flashes behind his eyes. A gloved hand accepts the present, snatching them from Tubbo’s quickly. His own grip felt so  _ so _ cold suddenly, but he ignored it, unaware of the disasters coming his way after this exchange- of the traitors and craters where his home and trust should be. _

Deceiving someone in this context after the deal was made was frowned upon and they’d be targeted by other players. This of course didn’t stop the powerful, but it did give some semblance of rules in a place desperate for them. That’s not what he was doing with Tommy though.

The older boy caught himself smiling, an ugly thing that felt wrong on his lips, and he embraced it. As he felt the discs get gently taken by soft hands, his shaking ones felt warm at the acceptance of this gift.

“I-... I don’t know how to thank you Big T. These mean a lot!”

“Don’t mention it.”

⋆

The fire shined against the night with a calming glow. The silvery smoke swept up and dissipated into the windy skies.

Many new people lazed around the campfire, a gigantic beast since it had to warm a dozen men, yet Tubbo felt calm in this strange environment. By his side Tommy, his  _ best friend _ , and on the other side, a man who had introduced himself as BadBoyHalo earlier. This unknown presence had a dark appearance, yet also had one of the softest personalities the boy had ever encountered.

Right now, he was being told stories about hunters ‘being awesome’ and the story of them tracking their prey ‘with no problems at all!’ Bad was such an incredible storyteller. Their whole group, all of the members on the server actually, were listening with rapt attention as he weaved tales of traps and dragon killing.

Tubbo, personally, had never fought a dragon, them being already extinct before he’d arrived last time. He’d heard the stories though, and it honestly didn’t interest him much to get mauled by ancient creatures for the thrill of boasting rights.

As the mysterious man got to the part where the chasers finally caught their target, Dream spoke up for the first time that night. “Stop lying Bad- you guys got totally owned that time.” Making George, a short British guy he’d been introduced to earlier, speak up in the storyteller’s defense.

“That's  _ so _ not true! Who ended up winning huh?”

“After you 3 v 1’d me yeah, but-”

“Stop being a sore loser Dream!” This time it was Sapnap, a black haired man with stylish clothes, who argued back. He was originally scared that this would turn into another furious battle, when arguments fell through and the only way to lay off steam was with fists and guns, where people pulled out their strongest weapons to prove themselves right, but instead of anything more heated happening… They started laughing!

“Ahh… those were good times, boys.”

They share their contentment, turning the atmosphere into a warm puddle, comfortable and lazy. Tubbo smiled behind his hand, damn this was nice. Ever since he’d joined the server, he had been moving non-stop, trying to get new resources, building a house, etc. Now, he can sit down and  _ breathe. _

“So that’s what you were doing before starting this world?” A curious Fundy asked while munching on some bread. To be honest, Tubbo didn’t know what to think of the sly fox yet, only having talked to him once or twice. Still, he held him in high regards for even being allowed here.

“Yeah... How about you guys- what kind of worlds did you come from?” Many of them chuckled awkwardly, probably unwilling to share such personal information… Or maybe repressing memories of times they’d prefer to forget. As the discussion came to an abrupt stop, everyone was itching to get their nice environment back, yet too scared to break the newly formed ice. The boy could visibly see the tension building in Tommy’s shoulders thanks to his body posture, before it metaphorically exploded.

“Well! I have a few brothers back home- in my old server! One’s gonna join soon actually- it’s just that he had some unfinished business to take care of.” His voice might have cracked and stuttered, yet everyone silently thanked him for his bravery. Dream hummed thoughtfully, practically half draped over his friends on his side.

“Yeah, you came in with Bacon’s invitation right?” At his side, the two lounging members snapped their head to Tommy’s.

“Wait, no way, you’re related to the Technoblade? That’s so pog man!” Murmurs rose around the circle, some with a more worried tinge following Sapnap’s retort. Tubbo didn’t know who this Technoblade guy was, but apparently he was a big thing. However, the small brunet was more concerned over his  _ best friend’s  _ reaction to the statement, over the name drop.

Tommy had dropped his usual proud shoulders and rounded his back and snaked his arms around his bent knees, making himself seem repressed. The new position would be cause for worry, as Tubbo quickly learned that his  _ best friend _ had very expressive body language, but the very real grin that graced the other’s lips told a different story.

“Yeah, he’s one of my older brothers. I mean, we’re not related, but he totally considers me a little brother.” The smile faltered, “sometimes it’s overwhelming.”

Everyone around the circle could clearly hear the tension in his voice, but that didn’t seem to deter George.

“That pig is a legend man. What’s he like?” A vaguely smug grin started blooming on George and Sapnap’s lips, in direct opposition to Dream’s slowly lowering his hand, a frown on his face.

“He’s a pig and obsessed with potatoes. That’s pretty much his personality.” Tommy seemed both completely at ease with the subject, yet vaguely tensed.

“I saw him beat up Dream during the Live Duel! Man, that was great!” That, even Tubbo had heard of the Live Duel, where warriors from many realms would come and test themselves against each other, leading to a cumulative amazing fight that was referred to many times afterwards. Dream seemed to grumble at the reminder of having lost the highly public fight.

Tommy’s grin somehow widened “I heard of that! Techno gloated about it so hard!” 

A chuckle rang out amidst the circle, none louder then the two men on either side of the admin, clearly making fun of their friend. Said admin was grumbling about bacon and beasts and clout, to Tubbo’s utter confusion, but just sent the other two back into rounds of laughter

Trying to keep with the light mood going, Fundy spoke again.

“I-... I came from a solo world. I spent my time coding new challenges and selling them to random players.”

“I worked in Bad’s old server, munchymc, I did redstone and stuff.” Awesamedude followed through, munching on a roasted marshmallow.

That's how it went, everyone took their turn to summarize their earlier life in a few short sentences. While it undermined most details, it did help giving him a general understanding of his fellow players. Sometimes they teased each other, friends making fun of friends, and suddenly it was his turn to speak.

His breath abandoning him, Tubbo took a moment to process his thoughts. He honestly should’ve prepared something- anything would be better than this. Everyone’s attention is on him, the only person to not fluidly resume their entire life. He hates the stares. He’s used to mass attention only in wars- and even then, those were  _ dirty  _ wars. Gaining everybody’s  _ precious _ attention meant you were hiding something important, knew something important, and definitely going to die soon.

Self analyzing won't help the situation Tubbo! C’mon c’mon… Looking to his side, he made eye contact with Tommy, who was supporting him as much as he could. It caught him off guard, seeing the usual dark sunglasses even in the middle of the night. Why does he even need them right now? Couldn't he take them off?

He realized it was still suffocatingly silent as he was far away in his head. Clearing his throat, he chuckled stiffly. “Well, I used to- I mean, I lived in an old, like  _ ancient _ , server. I got bored with the routine and uh.. Here I am?” Why did he have to phrase it like a question?

Yet everyone smiled comfortingly, obviously happy Tubbo managed to face his fears- even if it was through a half-truth. 

Then, as if to change the mood, Fundy jumps to his feet, his flaming marshmallow swinging wildly and barely missing Awesamedude in the face.

“Who cares about where we come from, man. We’re here now!” 

Loud chuckles and approving shouts rang out, as well as quieter grumbling from Sam, who’s ducking away from the fiery weapon and almost fell onto Eret’s lap. Said man tried to back away, only to knock into George, who then dropped his marshmallow into Dream’s lap. And that's the straw that broke the llama’s back, the entire circle descending into chaos. 

Tubbo smiled at the scene, breathing slowly to calm his rabid paced heart. Tommy’s arm slipped over his shoulders, whole body leaning against his side. A month ago, Tubbo would have broken his arm for even coming within a chunk of him. But now? It’s his favorite place to be. 

And so he drifts into unconsciousness, amidst Dream and George sparring, Sam trying to stab Fundy with his marshmallow coated stick, the others heckling in joy, and Tubbo comfortably nestled in his  _ best friend’s _ arms.

⋆

Tubbo isn’t sure what he should’ve expected from hearing a crash in the middle of the night.

Everyone asleep, the campfire still glowing warmly to protect them from the chilly weather, he was anxiously laying on a bed. The boy had trouble resting- too many strangers around tended to do that to his weary soul. Yet after a fitful battle, he had managed to catch some ‘zs.

As he was peacefully dreaming, a sudden thud caught his attention. Flinching, he squinted in the dark trying to discern if it was a mob or a Player who was the culprit.

Noticing a dark shadow on the floor, he deduced it was a player since mobs immediately despawned once hitting the ground. Groaning, he realized he’ll need to confront said person to stop making such a bracket.

He got up and marched to the person who had _dared_ to interrupt his sleep. Seeing them laying on the ground, belly down, he could make out dark hair but not much else. Slapping them on their backs, he whispered, “Bloody hell you doing?”

The immobile man starts getting up, and it is now that Tubbo’s pretty awful memory screws him over. He doesn’t remember this guy’s name and he couldn’t recognize the glasses either. Shit. As he was internally screaming, a new voice from behind practically screamed, “Oh yeah, sorry ‘bout that Tubs!” Turning around, he saw Tommy smiling, tinted sunglasses on even if it was night.

“Hey Tubbo!” Now it was George, another glasses wearing man that greeted him. 

The boy felt out of his element, surrounded by people who thought it was cool wearing glasses at midnight. Mentally unstable individuals were always the scariest to face off.

Slowly backing away, hands in front of himself in the universal sign of peace, he reached his bed on the floor and deliberately hid his face under the covers.

He really didn’t want to know.

⋆

When everyone left the next day, smiles on their faces, feeling accomplished, Dream hung back behind the group to subtly ask if Tubbo was alright, and well… 

He felt fine. Not ok, but he was getting there.

⋆

WilburSoot is a very dangerous man, in Tubbo’s opinion. 

He has not met him yet, but by second hand comments and information passed down in anecdotes, he has painted a clear picture in his mind. His best friend’s oldest brother was a protective force, like waves on a forceful ocean, destructive and unstoppable. Strong, maybe not physically but mentally, capable of supporting the blond when he needed it. Although Tubbo learned to take the ramblings from a hero worshipping teen with a grain of salt, he understood the hidden truths behind every word spoken.

Wilbur was not a man to be messed with. 

Tubbo, full of regret and uncertainty, isn’t sure if the man will like him- nor want him around his little brother. What if when the guy arrived, he could sense through brotherly instincts that his boy wasn’t safe around him? How he should separate them indefinitely? The bee lover couldn’t imagine a world without Tommy there by his side, but the reality is that you don’t always get what you want. And of course, Tommy would always choose his familial bond with Wil over their new up and coming friendship.

Tubbo was scared of being alone again and this man was threatening the fragile home he made for himself. The best part is that  _ he could do nothing about it. _

After hours of worrying about meeting his best friend’s older brother, Dream found him sulking underneath a tree next to The Road. “What’s happening Tubbo?” He plopped himself by the younger’s side quietly. The boy in question frowned deeper, staring at the ground sadly.

“I-... Wilbur’s arriving tomorrow.” He said despondently, refusing to look at the green man’s face, not that it would’ve helped since he wore a mask. The man shifted, hand on chin in a thinking pose.

“You know...I met Wil a while back. Whatever you’ve heard of him is probably true, but underneath all those layers of irony and sarcasm, he’s a pretty chill guy.”

Tubbo smiled shily. “Thanks.”

It helped ease the doubts, yet in the back of his mind the worries stayed. Gulping, he got up and walked back home. He better iron his shirt, making a good first impression is important, right?

He’ll show that he’s a good influence on Tommy. He could do this.

⋆

He could not do this.

Staring at the man, in all of his tall glory, he felt infinitely small. Holy shit he’s going to be found out. He’s going to be separated and he’ll never see Tommy again oh fuck oh fuck oh-

“Hello! I’ve heard so many things about you and wanted to meet Tommy’s mystery friend in person.” His deep voice caught him by surprise, chocolate eyes staring at him with warmth unusual coming from a stranger. Gulping down his anxieties, Tubbo spoke with as much calm as he could muster right now.

“uHM YES HELLO I’M TUBBO... hi.” smooth.  _ Nice going big man _ , he could hear Tommy say in his head. Sadly, he was alone right now, the blond having gotten lost earlier while trying to get to the original spawn. Tubbo and many others had offered to help since he was obviously having difficulties, but his friend hadn't budged and insisted he could do this on his own.

Tommy was one of the most stubborn people Tubbo had ever met.

Luckily, he wasn’t met with the mockery he’d expected irrationally. Instead, the same voice - _ just as warm as earlier _ \- chuckled in surprise. Hand shielding his mouth with a smile on his lips, the man responded while containing his giggles.

“Heh… Well, my name’s Wilbur! Nice to meet you Tubs.”

Somewhere deep within himself, something loosened.

⋆

Wilbur arriving had a strange effect on Tommy.

The boy became more chatty, talking everyone’s ear off constantly. From long winded rants about his daily troubles, to quiet whispers at night as they marched through forests. Another new thing appearing in his personality was the abnormal amount of physical affection. He was almost constantly leaning on Wil, holding his hand or simply brushing against his shoulders.

It was peculiar, but not bad. Simply...interesting.

Wil also had habits that didn’t make sense. For example, whenever he placed signs for Tommy, or anyone really, he’d read it out loud absentmindedly, enunciating every syllable. At least it helped with his dyslexia, yet the man was doing this since even before he had found out. The man did excessive amounts of hair ruffles as well, although Tubbo can’t say he minded the affection. It was just different.

During the quiet nights, when his insomnia kept him shivering in bed with his eyes closed tight, mind spinning with too many thoughts, some made him feel sick. He understood that there hadn’t been any rational reason for him to worry, Tommy wasn’t going to be leaving him any time soon, but deep down, new feelings emerged.

He felt ashamed for even harboring them, and detested living with the awful pit constantly weighing in his stomach. Yet he couldn’t deny its existence.

He, Tubbo, a war veteran who has hurt more people than he could count, felt jealous.

He isn’t sure of which of the brothers, but he was. 

Seeing the two so close, physically and emotionally, hurt him. He has never loved a brother, nor been protected by someone in the past. He’s used to the loneliness of solitary adventures, not for a lack of trying. He had made countless attempts at friendship in the past yet was constantly deceived and betrayed. The boy knew that doing the same thing over and over expecting change was a sign of insanity, but he always kept hoping. Maybe this time, it would work. This time, it wouldn’t end with a numb feeling in his chest, tearing him apart and burning him inside out.

When he had met Tommy, he had foolishly hoped that this was it. His journey for a family that cared for him was done. He’d hit the jackpot! That still stands, even with Tommy’s brother in the picture. Tubbo simply had to adapt and everything would be great! What's better than one friend? Two!

The envy dissipated in the early mornings, as the ray of sunshine peaked through his windows to assault him into wakefulness. The feeling completely left when Tommy crashes into his room, a ‘GOOD MORNING BIG MAN’ on his lips and an exciting adventure in his mind for the day.

Luckily, they never tried to exclude him from their fun when messing around in Dream’s kingdom. Sadly, they often asked him to do something else for long stretches of time, to do brother-bonding, supposedly. Tubbo would shuffle his feet and agree, going to mine some more resources and other mind numbing activities. It was on one of these long days, where he hadn’t left his mine for hours that the two came to tell him some big news.

“Hey Tubbo, do you want to join L’Manberg?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of, thank you to everyone that commented last chapter! appreciated :)
> 
> Second, this is an AU. Tubbo isn't from smpe- hes from somewhere else (can you guess?). Get ready for some lmanberg stuff in the next chapter!  
> have a nice day UwU


	3. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time has passed but everything's still eerily the same.
> 
> At least, that was in Tubbo's unbiased opinion.

_“Hey Tubbo, do you want to join L’Manberg?”_

_⋆_

He agreed ( _of course he did_. He’d follow Tommy into _hell_. Playing government for a fictional country was considerably less grave).

It started slowly (as most things tend to) with them building the first few houses. Being constantly close to the others who adored teasing each other felt nice. Like he was included.

His steady fingers were adept at their craft, capable of making beautiful creations if given enough time. Luckily, he had gained a knack for building when he was younger, although he was mostly used to cleaning the rubble off the floor after others found him. He smiled to himself as he continued the monotonous work of cutting trees, replanting them, and then gathering some more wood. He enjoyed the laborious work, it's just that his head sometimes stayed in the clouds for too long, making it easy for others to sneak up on him. Just like now.

“BOO!”

“AHH!” Tubbo screamed, hand reaching for his sword on his side unconsciously. Just before he stabbed the idiot who thought catching him by surprise was a good idea, he recognized the orange covering the mystery guest.

Loosening his stance, hands falling to his side once again, he exclaimed. “Fundy? What are you doing out here??” The fox grinned, mouth stretching and exposing his prominent canines. The man lifted his hat off his head and tipped it. “I’m the newest member in your little country. Do you want to accompany me to the Nether?”

Humming, Tubbo considered it. He had already gathered a considerable amount of wood, and it wouldn’t hurt to spend time with new acquaintances. Shrugging, he agreed and deposited the wood into one of the nearby chests. Dusting himself, he verified he had enough food on him in case things turned sour, the man next to him quiet all the while.

“So… what are we doing there?” He asked curiously, already walking to the nearby portal with a pep in his step while being followed close behind. The man next to him giggled mischievously before answering with a foreboding tone.

“Well, I feel to truly earn my place in the ranks here I need to… prove my use to the cause y’know?” Tubbo nodded. That’s fair. There's no need for a subordinate that couldn’t pull their own weight, plus with the limited number of people in this nation, everybody had to be useful somehow. Tubbo remembers in his past, to prove your utmost allegiance to the cause, the leaders sometimes had the lower ranking operatives mine obsidian with their hands for hours. ‘If you can’t even tough through this, you’re not worth it.’ His hands throb at the memory, and he observes the scars coating them apathetically.

They’re both walking in silence as they skillfully walk across magma, avoiding the blistering lava. Fundy, the man a few steps ahead of him, looks at him from the corner of his eye, yet Tubbo trusted the man not to suddenly lead him into a trap. Besides, with the limited amounts of deaths allowed in this server, everyone took it seriously. The boy hopes he doesn’t die more than three times, even if he doesn’t know what will happen in that eventuality. Hopefully he never does.

“So… you said you were from an old server?” Tubbo confirmed it with a quiet ‘yes’ while sidestepping another hole. It wasn’t so unusual, nor looked down upon, to originate from one of the older worlds. Some even bragged about being there while the universe was still developing, with only the bare minimum implemented. Judging by those stories, there was only one type of wood, everybody looked the same and there wasn’t even an End or a Nether. It was completely different from the world these days. Even he, a relatively young Player, had seen new things getting added to the universe, bees being his favorite by a long shot.

“So… How much do you know about the Nether in this version?” Fundy asked while climbing one of the burning mountains. Tubbo thought about it while following, and answered truthfully. “Not much to be honest… I’ve mostly been in the overworld these days. Apparently there are new biomes?”

“Yeah that’s right, although there's a bit more to it than that!” Now, they were both near the ceiling, standing precariously on one of the hills. Fundy took out his knife and cut some glowstone from the ceiling. After pocketing it, he slowly went back down, careful not to misstep.

The boy looked below and found the red forest pretty. It looked like crimson on leaves, falling down and coating the floor maroon, spreading over the dried up ones. He wondered how trees even grew here, but decided that he should probably get down instead of losing his head in the clouds. Wincing, he prepared for impact and jumped.

Landing with a roll to evenly spread the impact, he checked around for his guide, yet he had lost the fox. “Fundy?” Dusting off his pants, he adventures. Surely, the man didn’t just leave him right? He was just waiting close by… right? His feeling of anticipation rose in his throat the longer he was alone, it almost choked him. _nonono._

Tubbo squinted at a cobblestone tower built deep in the forest. Maybe Fundy had built up and had forgotten to wait for him? Breathing deeply, he considered it a possibility. It wouldn’t hurt to check it out.

The boy walked hurriedly towards it, choosing not to admire the sights and to prioritize finding the lost man. As he was getting closer to his mark, he heard steps behind him. He assumed it was Fundy, yet his gut warned him things weren't as they appeared. Trusting it intuitively, he built up a few blocks using netherrack he had gained earlier. As he was resting on the 5 block pillar, he looked down and saw a large pig creature staring at him.

Gulping, he towered up even more blocks. That creature looked aggressive and dangerous. Tubbo might have even lost his first life if he hadn’t played it safe. Were these the mobs Fundy spoke of earlier? As he was trying to regain his breath from the adrenaline spike he just lived, he heard his communicator go off. Taking it gently out of his pocket, making sure he did not drop it by accident, he checked for the new messages.

_ItsFundy whispers to you: I’m up here!_

Glancing up he saw a worried looking Fundy staring at him with an outstretched hand. Smiling, Tubbo connected the dots. The reason he hadn’t been able to find him wasn’t because he had been abandoned, but actually because of the wild animal! He had been too quick to assume and…and he almost got hurt for it.

He grabbed the hand and got pulled up to a higher platform. Fundy hugged him quickly while talking. “Man! That was a massive hoglin- sorry for leaving you out there alone.” His thick accent was audible, yet his remorse was louder. Obviously the man wouldn’t have left him maliciously, here he was fretting to see if he got injured. Tubbo felt his eyes wet, and he smiled warmly.

He loved having friends.

⋆

Things started turning sour after the first explosion, Tubbo decided on a quiet day.

It wasn’t an explosion per say, but the fireworks coloring the sky red, white and blue (L _’Manberg’s_ colours) had definitely been tip toeing the line. Dream, a curious person by nature, had approached them with suspicion, yet also arrogance. Their group being pacifists welcomed him into their best house, and gave him their best liquor.

It was strange, the dynamic between all of them. Of course, he will always see these men as friends before enemies. Even if Punz, Sapnap or even Dream harmed him while play-fighting, that’s what it was at the end of the day. _Play_ fighting. Nothing serious like in his old world, where pain meant nothing and death was temporary.

Where egos meant more than bruises, and swords meant nothing in front of end crystals.

Tubbo will never be able to see them as serious threats, and although L’manberg’s reception to Dream had been jarring with all the ignored animosity in the air, they had ended it on civil terms. The boy rarely left the walls these days, but learning that everything outside was a ‘threat’ made him queasy. He had strived to be pacifistic all this time on this server, yet now he was being shown who the good guys and the bad guys were in plain terms.

He enjoyed the camaraderie between them though. Eret, the newest member in the group, was incredibly hardworking and often helped him in gathering resources. They also spent lots of time around the campfire storytelling while eating marshmallows. Wilbur even brought out his guitar to sing a few times. Things were good.

Until they weren’t anymore.

⋆

Dream called for a meeting on neutral grounds.

Tubbo looked down at his hands nervously. Something about that statement rubbed him the wrong way. He had been thinking about what this means for the past night, shuffling in bed and unable to sleep with theories zooming through his head. What would Dream possibly need from them in these uncertain times?

Dream _called for_ a meeting on neutral grounds.

It wasn’t a suggestion, more so a demand. The message delivered on Wilbur’s doorstep this morning left everything to the imagination, too much in his opinion. That was dangerous for a young boy like him, with too much time to think yet not enough to sleep.

 _Dream_ called for a _meeting_ on neutral grounds.

What was going to happen? Will they be safe? Should he bring out his diamond armour or was it not worth it? Would it be seen as impolite- or worse even, as a threat? His head spins with possibilities, yet no answers came from his fretting.

He feels someone’s hand on his shoulder. He stiffens instinctively and joltes around and catches the thin wrist in his grip. Shocked blue eyes stare back at him behind tinted glasses, the hand slowly going back to its owner. Tommy was looking at him with worry and Tubbo’s insides felt all jumbled up.

“Are you ok? You’re lookin’ a little green there.” Tubbo looked back up, everyone in L’Manberg was staring at him, wondering probably the same thing. Or maybe they’re just thinking he’s crazy. They wouldn’t be too off the mark if they did anyway.

He forced a tight grin on his face, looking at each of the members in their eyes and said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m just curious about what Dream needs us for.”

Wilbur nodded in agreement, positioning his hand on his chin in a thinking position. “It probably has to do with the declaration of independence we sent over a few days ago...” His voice trailed off because footsteps were heard incoming from behind the door.

It opens dramatically slowly, Dream’s famous mask greeting them with a polite nod. Behind him, Punz, Sapnap and George followed like shadows, netherit armour shining. Tubbo gulped before speaking calmly. He could do this, there's no reason for him to be nervous, right? “So… take a seat gentlemen?”

His sentence ended high pitched and he could hear Tommy chuckle at his distress. What a dick. Although, it seemed that his words broke the metaphorical glass, everyone’s posture being less tense and a few people smiling. People took a seat around the table leisurely.

The atmosphere was broken by Dream clearing his throat.

Tubbo looked up at the tall man, his presence weighing a lot on the other people in the room. His voice came out clear and booming as he started his speech. "Hello everyone! You must be wondering what I have gathered you all here for today." There was murmuring in the crowd, yet all became silent as the Admin waved his hand in a 'cease' movement.

“It has come to my attention that some in our crowd wish to form an independent nation, and I will allow it... if they’re willing to fight for it.” The silence was deafening. Tubbo's ears were ringing. His gaze went over to his leader Wilbur, who sat opposite to Dream at the table. The man was silent, looking down, his eyes cloudy with thoughts.

“So be it.” His deep voice broke the silence and the boy could feel himself trembling. Wars were the worst. He could feel it, the blood dripping off his hands and the end crystal explosions breaking his eardrums. He detested it with a passion, yet he will not disobey Wil. Not only because he will always be loyal to those close to him, but also because he will have no place to go after leaving Tommy.

Speaking of, his sight caught Tommy. The boy looking sick, face scrunched up. His hidden eyes were only just visible, and the sliver looked at Dream with accusation and fury. The room was still just as deadly silent as a few minutes ago, but the weight on everyone's shoulders seems to have quintupled. Tommy caught him staring and immediately put on a confidant mask, trying to get him to feel better maybe?

Dream clapped his hands and everyone's attention was brought to him. His voice this time wasn't as threatening as before. “Now... Everyone is aware of the three respawns rule, am I correct? Therefore, we will limit -on both sides!- the amounts of deadly intention used. Also, we will continue to operate with the usual guidelines, no hacking for example. Failure to comply will result in a ban. _Am I being understood?_ ” A series of affirmations rang through the room, every single person using a variant of 'yes'.

Tubbo's hands were shaking even more now. His eyes closed briefly, a trick to calm himself he had picked up recently. Hacking is not allowed. He could feel the pointed accusation in his soul. Dream had been plainly threatening him, knowing his past and his possible utilization of the forbidden techniques. His eyes felt a bit too wet suddenly, and he managed to blinked the tears out before anyone noticed thankfully. He remembered his promise he'd made before entering Dream smp.

In exchange for a new life somewhere better, a mostly new world, he'd need to stop any hacking. He had vowed years prior (as a form of moral code when he had been lost without any directions) to never go back on his words, or abandon his friends. He will hold himself to that promise even if it killed him.

Dream had saved him from 2b2t and he will forever be thankful for that. He owes the Admin not to cheat and corrupt the world.

Looking back at Tommy, his heart stopped. The boy was still, body twitching minutely. His hands were clenched together and his breathing was faster than usual. Tubbo couldn't understand why that was his friend's reaction, yet when Tommy caught him staring this time, the grin was nowhere to be found. His eyes were shining with emotions hard to identify. Was that...guilt? Remorse? Horror? why would he have anything to feel remorse about?

While stuck in his thoughts Dream patted him on the back, close to the exit door as it was, before leaving the room, boots thumping quietly against the grass.

The meeting ended soon after, everyone going home and L'manberg prepared for war.

⋆

Everybody stood around General Soot, who was looking at every single one of his soldiers with regret in his posture. Nobody wanted a war.

The man was just as stoic as the night before, when he had gone over every single possible plan and outcome for this war, when he had observed every single disadvantage they had. Things had never looked grimmer than at that moment. The boy had tried to contribute but...

“That’s interesting, but not really what we’re going for Tubbo. That would effectively render us unable to leave or going on the offensive if we placed lava all around our walls.”

“No once again Tubbo. Trapping them in an obsidian box without light nor their weapons after setting their spawns would be considered too lethal thanks to the mobs. Try and come up with something more realistic if you want to help.”

“Tubbo what the fuck? That would mean no wood for us either if we ever managed to win. Burning down the whole forest would also endanger the wildlife.”

“Absolutely not!..Maybe Tubbo you... you should take a breather for a while? Go take a walk.”

He never entered the room again after he left.

⋆

_“Eret how could you?”_

_“Down with the revolution, boys! It was never meant to be.”_

_“We can’t do this anymore. I’ll go speak to Dream.”_

_“...He said he’d light this piece of tnt if we didn’t give up… he doesn’t realize that we would rather_ **_die._ ** _”_

⋆

Most of the war passed by in a blur for Tubbo.

There was this sick feeling of nostalgia that stuck to his bones, as though he was going through motions already perfected in the past. Everything was sluggish, from the things he did to the words being said. It was as though he was stuck in his head, reliving past memories similar to this one. He barely contributed to anything unless it was for war.

His mind was in a daze, thoughts unfocused unless he was in battle, in which case everything became clearer and sharper. The indentation in his armor, the creak in his bones, the glow on the others’ swords, etc. He could finally understand where he is in the world, and the adrenaline pumping through his veins gave him enough energy to march back home after a successful battle. He would then pass out, reverting back to his past self, moving through a world of thick water.

(Although sometimes, he wasn't as lucky. Sometimes, when back on home turf with his family, they'd look at him- unable to recognize the bloodthirsty monster. Sometimes he couldn't recognize himself.)

The days grew colder and with them the people slowly changed. His friend Tommy would live everyday as though his last, taking risky shots and antagonizing the enemy. Fundy would try and prove himself to Wilbur, insisting he would be the best bait. Wilbur would chastise him for putting himself in danger for no reason then promptly to it himself. Eret, he...

Eret, he left them in pursuit of power.

Tubbo couldn't honestly blame him. If he had been back in his old world, he would have considered it as a viable option. Hell, it wasn't the first time something like this had happened to him- people never changed. Yet, every time he looked at the declaration and found the traitor's name, it felt like a punch to the face.

He couldn't blame him, and yet he will still seek revenge for hurting those close to him in the future. 

He was a selfish creature by nurture.

At least thanks to Eret he had lived through his first 'true' death. It had felt different from those in his past, slightly meaner. It had taken him a few hours to get up from his bed after the respawn. It still haunts his nightmare to this day, but luckily he had mastered the art of waking up silently and muffling the tears.

The haze in his mind was just as strong as usual since he was stuck in an underground bunker, everyone speaking in hushed tones. The ringing in his ears was louder than their voices, so he didn't even try to concentrate. Looking down at his hands, he noticed the ash stuck beneath his fingernails. It had taken _someone_ to open the underground tunnel.

He felt himself getting tapped on the shoulder. He looked up and realized it was just him and Fundy. Looking at the fox with a questioning gaze, the man explained himself. “They left to discuss our surrender with Dream.” Ah that makes sense.

The boy chose to look back at his hands. He had lived through multiple failures and although he felt dissatisfaction with himself, he mostly felt glad it was finally over. They were on the losing side, so it was better to suck it up and limit the fallout. Technically, they could still threaten to destroy Dream smp (even though everybody knew that was impossible) and could use that as a bargaining trick. He only hopes Dream won't force them to live in their ruined nation. Living in the remains of a past defeat would hurt like a bitch.

He isn't sure how long they spent there, waiting for the other two members to come back. By then, Tubbo had gone back to his half unconscious state, mind moving slowly. Tommy's uncertain grin greeted him first, and Wilbur's disappointed one next. What had happened?

Tommy explained first. “I challenged Dream to a duel. That dick-wad is going to lose!”

Wilbur continued through gritted teeth. “If Tommy loses we're giving up and-... and he gives up Mellohi.” His sad gaze looked down sadly at the blond's hair. His posture was tense, and the general obviously felt protective for his brother. He hated himself for what was about to happen. Tubbo felt similarly, and hit Tommy on the shoulder to prove his point.

“OW what was _that_ for?!” He exclaimed after the girly scream. The brunet looked at the boy underneath glaring eyes. He promptly pulled his friend in a hug after. “You didn't need to fucking sacrifice yourself! We could have survived without you acting like a martyr!”

Tommy's glasses were still present on his face, even if it was sometimes a burden. He said it reminded him of Eret these days, and used it as a sort of motivation to keep going. Right now, Tubbo had to look behind them, straight into the teen's strikingly eerie blue eyes, that glowed a bit _too_ much in the dim lighting. He opened his mouth to defend himself. “Why are you all acting as though I'm already dead?!”

Nobody answered, and Tommy had to bite back a sob yet it was still audible in the too-silent room. “Why won't you guys believe in me? I can do it! I'll do it, and It'll prove to all of you pricks that you shouldn't underestimate me and...and…” The boy looked down at his hands, ironically similar to Tubbo a few minutes previously. They were stained dirty and trembling.

“Let's just go Tommy.” Wilbur's deep call broke the tension in the room and everyone slowly walked outside.

“I-...I…”

 _“_ Let's go over to your execution Tommy. _Isn't this what you wanted?”_

⋆

Tommy didn't win the duel. Nobody was surprised.

Yet, as Dream cracked his neck, sipping on his milk after the slaughter, he whispered something quiet, so quiet that only Tubbo heard. He was probably whispering to himself, but luckily - or maybe unluckily- Tubbo had heard since he was picking up Tommy’s belongings from the floor. Maybe it had been luck, maybe it had been destiny, yet he had caught it.

“ _Aren't Tommy's eyes a bit too blue?”_

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> (I know now that tubbo was in smpe, i had forgotten in the first one. Now, things will be slightly different and canon events will be altered/ forgotten to fit the narrative. please comment it fuels my ego.)
> 
> Have a nice day and stay safe! <3
> 
> beta'd by LesEnfantsPleurent


End file.
